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goals
April 2007 
What are your top ten goals for the year?
Posted on Mar 25th, 2007
by 
Galatea Shanti
Galatea Shanti
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for March 24, 2007:
1. Register for and take the GRE.
2. Finish toilet training the cat. This may take a bit longer than originally hoped for, but it will definitely be done by the end of the summer, if I have anything to say about it. (I may not - it'll depend on how beligerent our cat decides to be.)
3. Gain some library experience - if not by getting a job in a library, then by volunteering at one of our local libraries.
4. Find a hobby I can stick with that will take me out of the apartment more often. This will probably be either a writing group I feel comfortable with, a group to play board games with, or.. um.. something else entirely.
5. Keep up with my zazen, and actually meditate daily for the 20 minutes I set myself, rather than giving up when I get frustrated after 16 (like I do now more often than not).
6. Publish something better than the piece of tripe I sold for $4 on Associated Content the other day.
7. Win NaNoWriMo '07. I did it in '06 and I'll do it again in '07. If I'm feeling particularly ambitious, I might even find a subject that has a hope of making it further than a first, horrid draft.
8. Find my "bliss", or at least make significant steps in that direction. I've felt stagnant and listless most of my adult life so far; I'd like to do something about that.
9. Attend a meditation retreat. This one may be stretching it, but hell, this isn't a list of "musts", it's a list of goals. I should have plenty of opportunities, and it's just a matter of sucking it up, pushing aside my fear, and just doing it. ...After I get some more practice sitting on the cushions for long periods of time, that is. I think a whole day or weekend of it at this point would just about kill me.
10. Write. Work writing back into my daily routine. Finish those short personal narratives I was working on. Crank out miserable poetry. Write horrible haiku. I need to stop making excuses and just do it. I'll never improve if I keep putting it off for when I "feel like it".
11. (Bonus) Related to #10, I would like to write in my journal daily (or close to daily). There was a time when I turned to my journal for everything, and now I write in it, on average, less than once a month. Pathetic! It was a good habit to be in, and I'm going to do my best to continue it.
12. (Bonus #2) Stop being quite so neurotic and avoidant. This actually relates to most of the above goals, so it's more a clarification than a separate goal. I want to stop letting fear and anxiety rule my life. This isn't something that I can accomplish in a year, or maybe even a lifetime, but it's something I can work on, make progress on.
2. Finish toilet training the cat. This may take a bit longer than originally hoped for, but it will definitely be done by the end of the summer, if I have anything to say about it. (I may not - it'll depend on how beligerent our cat decides to be.)
3. Gain some library experience - if not by getting a job in a library, then by volunteering at one of our local libraries.
4. Find a hobby I can stick with that will take me out of the apartment more often. This will probably be either a writing group I feel comfortable with, a group to play board games with, or.. um.. something else entirely.
5. Keep up with my zazen, and actually meditate daily for the 20 minutes I set myself, rather than giving up when I get frustrated after 16 (like I do now more often than not).
6. Publish something better than the piece of tripe I sold for $4 on Associated Content the other day.
7. Win NaNoWriMo '07. I did it in '06 and I'll do it again in '07. If I'm feeling particularly ambitious, I might even find a subject that has a hope of making it further than a first, horrid draft.
8. Find my "bliss", or at least make significant steps in that direction. I've felt stagnant and listless most of my adult life so far; I'd like to do something about that.
9. Attend a meditation retreat. This one may be stretching it, but hell, this isn't a list of "musts", it's a list of goals. I should have plenty of opportunities, and it's just a matter of sucking it up, pushing aside my fear, and just doing it. ...After I get some more practice sitting on the cushions for long periods of time, that is. I think a whole day or weekend of it at this point would just about kill me.
10. Write. Work writing back into my daily routine. Finish those short personal narratives I was working on. Crank out miserable poetry. Write horrible haiku. I need to stop making excuses and just do it. I'll never improve if I keep putting it off for when I "feel like it".
11. (Bonus) Related to #10, I would like to write in my journal daily (or close to daily). There was a time when I turned to my journal for everything, and now I write in it, on average, less than once a month. Pathetic! It was a good habit to be in, and I'm going to do my best to continue it.
12. (Bonus #2) Stop being quite so neurotic and avoidant. This actually relates to most of the above goals, so it's more a clarification than a separate goal. I want to stop letting fear and anxiety rule my life. This isn't something that I can accomplish in a year, or maybe even a lifetime, but it's something I can work on, make progress on.
Access: Public
Just a note to say that I’m glad that you’re posting on Zaadz, and that you posted these, in particular. I look forward to reading them in more depth.
I've felt stagnant and listless most of my adult life so far; I'd like to do something about that.
This surprises me. I perceive you as having such varied and intriguing interests.
Work writing back into my daily routine
What's made it difficult for you to do so?
There was a time when I turned to my journal for everything,
I'm fascinated by people's journaling processes. Did you have a favorite time of day? Favorite materials? Rituals to jumpstart your writing?
The problem with having varied interests it is it easy to get bogged down in trying to choose one. I am a little bit interested in lots of different things, and my attention quickly drifts from one to the other. I have a difficult time devoting a lot of time and energy to a small number of things, because then I have less time and energy to spend on other things that might cross my path. So I get stuck because I don't know which of my interests to devote enough energy to so that I'm doing something.
As for writing, I think that I've been giving my inner editor too much slack. I write something, and either immediately dismiss it as crap, or return to it later to find that it is bad. With NaNoWriMo I didn't have the luxury to worry about things like that - if I didn't keep moving forward, I would never have won, and that was the end goal. Without that motivation, I let myself believe that I have the time to be meticulous about things and keep rewriting them until they're “good.” The problem with that, of course, is that the writing never goes anywhere, I get bored of the place where I'm stuck, and I never accomplish anything. I can see these things, but it's still really, really, really difficult for me to do what must be done - mainly, to write crap knowing that it's crap and that it doesn't matter.
As for journaling… I'm going to stick to simple answers to your questions for now because I could go on forever about my journaling habits, since they've had time to morph and change for at least ten to fifteen years. No, I haven't ever had a favorite time of day. I think that generally I just write when I feel the need, so long as I'm in a sufficiently private place to do so. By private I don't mean that I have to be alone, simply that I can write without fear of anyone being nosy about my writing. At work would be bad, but on the bus is fine. Right now I have a hypothesis that writing before bed will help me unwind; I'l reevaluate that idea in a week or two.
I don't have overall favorite materials, but I would say that in general, unless I need to write RIGHT NOW and can't find my ideal materials, but I choose whatever appeals to me at that moment (with the exception that I don't usually change journals until the one I'm writing in is at least 3/4 full). I have written in $1 spiral bound subject notebooks, and in $25 suede-bound journals (what I'm using right now - it feels nice under my hands). I have used lined pages and unlined pages. I have used fountain pens and I have used cheap hotel-room ballpoint pens. Right now I favor the Uniball Signo gel pens for journaling - they write smoothly on most papers and don't smudge as much as the Pilot gel pens I was using before, particulaly on Moleskine-quality paper. I'm on a quest for the perfect pens, you see.
As for rituals, I can't think of any. In the past I have only journaled when I felt like journaling, which meant I was already in the proper state of mind. For my bedtime journaling right now I am making a ritual of always writing at the same desk with the same pen (until I lose it and have to make do with another). I rather like the feeling of having that spot as my “journaling” spot, so for a while that may be a ritual.
The problem with having varied interests it is it easy to get bogged down in trying to choose one. I am a little bit interested in lots of different things, and my attention quickly drifts from one to the other.
I identify with this.
This characteristic does make you interesting and, I hope, provide a rich life for you.
So I get stuck because I don't know which of my interests to devote enough energy to so that I'm doing something.
Is there a way for you to divine which give you the most pleasure or have the most value in your life?
I let myself believe that I have the time to be meticulous about things and keep rewriting them until they're “good.”
I'm reflecting on this statement in the context of some of those you made earlier in your response. Are you characterized by perfectionism that leads to immobility?
Right now I have a hypothesis that writing before bed will help me unwind;
I once aspired to do this, but found myself too groggy to be coherent. As you've read elsewhere, early mornings are best for me.
Right now I favor the Uniball Signo gel pens for journaling
Thanks for the tip. I'm on a perpetual search for the world's “best” pen. (Believe it or not, I wrote this before reading the closing sentence of that 'graph! :) )
Is there a way for you to divine which give you the most pleasure or have the most value in your life?
Working on it. So far it seems like books, games (particularly board games) and writing are the most sticking threads. I'm considering joining a book club, although I have doubts as to how much I'd enjoy that sort of atmosphere. I guess I won't know until I try.
Are you characterized by perfectionism that leads to immobility?
Often, yes.
I once aspired to do this, but found myself too groggy to be coherent.
I'm finding that to be the case sometimes. However, I don't know if I can fit journaling into my morning routine right now without waking up even earlier than I already do (and 7:00 is about my limit at the moment). So nighttime it is. It just means that some of my entries are shorter than they would be otherwise (or non-existant like last night's), and that I'll end up writing more on the weekends.
What is your favorite pen right now? If you're interested in mechanical pencils, I highly recommend the Papermate “Clear Point”.
>and 7:00 is about my limit at the moment<
I'm going to have to work on you to join me in cyberspace at 4! ;)
>What is your favorite pen right now?<
I've been using Pentel EnerGels (0.7mm black) and a Pentel .07mm pencil. I recently discovered the Zebra Orbitz (Med black) and enjoyed using it.
And how's this been for nerd chat at the beginning of the day? :)
And how's this been for nerd chat at the beginning of the day? :)
Wonderful. It's difficult to find people who actually enjoy discussions about pens.
>It's difficult to find people who actually enjoy discussions about pens.<
Oh, I think there are more of us out here. ;)
Would you like to start a Discussion on Lifehackers?
Good idea. I'll do that right now.